We graduate high school, move away from home, enjoy our lives in college and then are supposed to fly the nest and start our own lives.
But what happens when that isn't possible?
I moved 600 miles away for college and had a pretty successful experience. I lived in a dorm my freshman year, moved into an apartment with two friends my sophomore year and then spent my junior and senior years living in a homey apartment with my soon-to-be hubby.
But then life hit. We graduated college. We made the decision to move back closer to home. We were faced with the reality that apartments in Maryland are significantly smaller and significantly more expensive then the apartments in Tennessee.
I have a mountain of student loan debts, he was in an accident and had to replace his car a few months ago and we are a month away from our wedding day so money is tight. Not to mention the fact that neither of us have been able to find full-time employment yet.
We want to start our marriage off as financially stable as possible. We also want to live a little. We want to indulge on our honeymoon, because honestly, when else can you be as selfish as you can on your honeymoon?! We have spent the past four years working our asses off and now we want to enjoy ourselves and go on some adventures.
We don't want to spend our first months as a married couple over drafting our bank accounts, fighting and pinching every penny. We don't want to settle for the cheapest dirtiest apartment because it is the only thing we can afford. We miss the home we created in Tennessee.
So the only solution is to spend a few more months living at home. Together. We are currently living with our respective parents but he will be moving in with me and my family after the wedding. I can't lie. It is going to be weird! I spent the day today making space for him in my closet and clearing out a drawer for him. We are going from our wonderful two-bedroom apartment to my childhood bedroom. It is going to be an awkward transition but it is the transition we need to make right now. It will allow us to start our marriage on the best foot possible. It will give us the opportunity to save up some money and get a handle on our loans.
But there is so much judgement around this decision. His parents don't approve. They feel that we need to be out making it on our own. Society expects married couples to be on their own. Our friends thing it is weird that we will still be at home. But none of the above mentioned people are walking in our shoes. Life can be difficult sometimes and there are times when you need to make your own road and trust that you know best what you need.
Has anyone else been in this sort of position? Have you felt like taking a "step back" was the right choice for you but that you faced a ton of judgement for it?
