Moving Home

We graduate high school, move away from home, enjoy our lives in college and then are supposed to fly the nest and start our own lives.

But what happens when that isn't possible?

I moved 600 miles away for college and had a pretty successful experience. I lived in a dorm my freshman year, moved into an apartment with two friends my sophomore year and then spent my junior and senior years living in a homey apartment with my soon-to-be hubby.

But then life hit. We graduated college. We made the decision to move back closer to home. We were faced with the reality that apartments in Maryland are significantly smaller and significantly more expensive then the apartments in Tennessee.

I have a mountain of student loan debts, he was in an accident and had to replace his car a few months ago and we are a month away from our wedding day so money is tight. Not to mention the fact that neither of us have been able to find full-time employment yet.

We want to start our marriage off as financially stable as possible. We also want to live a little. We want to indulge on our honeymoon, because honestly, when else can you be as selfish as you can on your honeymoon?! We have spent the past four years working our asses off and now we want to enjoy ourselves and go on some adventures.

We don't want to spend our first months as a married couple over drafting our bank accounts, fighting and pinching every penny. We don't want to settle for the cheapest dirtiest apartment because it is the only thing we can afford. We miss the home we created in Tennessee.

So the only solution is to spend a few more months living at home. Together. We are currently living with our respective parents but he will be moving in with me and my family after the wedding. I can't lie. It is going to be weird! I spent the day today making space for him in my closet and clearing out a drawer for him. We are going from our wonderful two-bedroom apartment to my childhood bedroom. It is going to be an awkward transition but it is the transition we need to make right now. It will allow us to start our marriage on the best foot possible. It will give us the opportunity to save up some money and get a handle on our loans.

But there is so much judgement around this decision. His parents don't approve. They feel that we need to be out making it on our own. Society expects married couples to be on their own. Our friends thing it is weird that we will still be at home. But none of the above mentioned people are walking in our shoes. Life can be difficult sometimes and there are times when you need to make your own road and trust that you know best what you need.

Has anyone else been in this sort of position? Have you felt like taking a "step back" was the right choice for you but that you faced a ton of judgement for it?

Self Care Sunday

Happy Easter everyone! And welcome to my first Self Care Sunday post.

I just graduated with a degree in social work and every one of my professors over the last few years spent at least one class sessions talking about the importance of self care. This is especially vital for those of us in the helping professions but everyone and anyone can benefit from taking better care of themselves and putting themselves first every once in awhile!

Through these posts I plan on exploring various ways to treat and love yourself but today we will start with an easy task!

Make a list of 5 things you can treat yourself to for $5 or less! 

I know I frequently feel like the answer to my problems is shopping. However, this is rarely the case and when I stress shop I end up with a bad case of buyers remorse...Making the stress even worse! So having a game plan and deciding on a few ways to treat yourself without breaking the bank can really make a big difference. Write it on a sticky note. Keep it in your purse. Program it into your phone. Just make sure you see it and can easily reference it when you feel that urge to stress shop.

A few of my ideas: 

1. A new paperback or Kindle deal book
2. Five uplifting songs off of iTunes
3. A Starbucks pick-me-up
4. A cute card to send to a distant friend (or to journal on and stick in my notebook)
5. Relaxing bubble bath and/or lotion 

March Book Review

Click the title to go to the Amazon page for each book!

The Uglies by Scott Westerfeld 
This was a decent YA novel but in my opinion not nearly as good as The Hunger Games or Divergent. The whole world is built around the concept of creating perfect, beautiful people. Tally, the main character, gets involved in a rebel group and comes to see the inner-beauty in the ugly people but she still dreams of being beautiful herself. I am not entirely sure what lessons she learned. It was an entertaining read but after reading the "sneak peek" of the second book I decided against continuing the series.

Sister by Rosamund Lupton 
This book is the story of a woman trying to solve the mystery of her sisters disappearance. It was a huge page turner as Beatrice considers various suspects and explores concepts such as genetic trails in infants. Soon the police discover the Tess committed suicide but Bee refuses to believe this. There are so many itty bitty clues leading to the ending, but you will never see it coming! It ends with just the right balance between open-ended and hopeful.

Angelfall by Susan Ee 
I bought this one because it was on a special deal on Amazon, although I was a little uncertain about it after reading the reviews. Some people described it as morbid while others said it gave them nightmares. It was certainly a bleak, post-apocalyptic world but it was an interesting take on an otherwise worn out idea. The end of the world in this story was brought about by the rapture; the Angel Gabriel sent with an army of Angels to destroy mankind and all their evil. It is definitely a different way to look at Heaven/Hell, Good/Evil, etc. I do not really see this book as a dig at any particular faith, but more an exploration of the concept of God and faith in general.

The Book Thief  by Markus Zusak 
This is a phenomenal book. Let me start by saying that I am fascinated by the history and culture of World War Two in general. I love the complete contrasts you see during that time; pure evil and hatred against simple innocence. The idea of people going along with horrible ideas based of of one man's words and then people who still do the right thing, despite their entire community and culture telling them to do something else. This book, which is narrated by death, explores both of these world: those of simple people and how their actions fit into the larger structure of hugely important events. You will fall in love with Liesel and all the amazing people she encounters.

Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore by Robin Sloan 
This was a strange book but worth the read! Its a mystery, love story and history all tied into one. It took me awhile to get into it, there was at times too much focus on the tiny details of typography and bookmaking, but it was all necessary to really get into this world. It was fun to think about the possibility (and honestly likelihood) of underground societies dedicated to old books.  I adored the ending as well and the idea that even the smallest acts can have the biggest impact on the future.

The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin 
I have a love/hate relationship with this book. To be honest, I did not particularly enjoy the memoir part of this book. At times it seemed a bit heavy handed and contradictory; my life is so wonderful and I am so blessed and lucky versus I am making no progress this is the worst idea ever. I got a bit annoyed reading those two general ideas over and over again. But there were so small details that really added depth, like talking about her husbands illness. I loved the overall concept of this book though and the map she provides for individuals looking to add more happiness and contentment to their own lives. If you are feeling a little lost I would highly suggest this book.

Journaling, Goal-Setting and Planning

I have been keeping journals since my 13th birthday when my mom bought me a cute spiral-bound notebook. Almost ten years later I am still going strong and my journaling is constantly evolving. However, as I get older keeping a journal becomes increasingly confusing.

I want to set goals in so many areas of my life. I want to make plans for my future and for tomorrow. I want to remember these small moments of my life, as well as all the big events. I want to record quotes I love, books I am reading and so many other little details of my life.

But how do you balance all of this?

We will start from the top: Goal Setting! This is SO important as it will guide your day-to-day activities, the plans you make and even the things your journal about. But setting goals can be a daunting task. I bought these Lara Casey Power Sheets a few months ago and fell in love with them, but each month I found myself leaving so many squares unchecked. Enter "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. I loved the idea of focusing on happiness and really zeroing in on one aspect of my life each month. So I made a list of everything I could do to lead a happier more contented life. Then each month I would choose ONE area to focus on break it down into monthly/weekly/daily/weekend goals on my Power Sheets and BAM. So much easier to manager.

Next up is planning. I used to have giant page-a-day planners and I would map out every aspect of my days a week in advance. But as life progressed this became less and less doable. Life gets hectic ya'll! You can't always plan each hour of your day a week in advance. So instead I utilized the monthly calendar spread to keep track of bills, birthdays, events. etc. Then each night I would review my monthly calendar, my Power Sheets, my meal plans (I choose and buy groceries for seven meals each week but don't assign them to certain days) and even my journal to create a to-do list for the following day. This has been working SO much better for me and I find myself being way more relaxed and spontaneous. When I planned my days a week or more in advance I felt like I couldn't get a last minute coffee with a friend because I had other things planned! With this method I can also bring my daily to-do list everywhere I go; slip it in my wallet or clutch, instead of hauling around a large planner.

For my daily to-do lists I'll use just about anything, typically sticky notes or a Project Life journaling card.

So now into my main focus of this post: journaling! I freaking love journals. I love the beautiful, artistic, creative journals you can find examples of on Pinterest. But unfortunately I am not very creative! I've also found it difficult to find examples of how other people incorporate journaling into their daily lives. My journaling method has three parts:

1. Day One: This is an app that I have on my iPhone (I imagine you can get it on other smart phones as well). I used to hate the idea of digital journals but I have found it really handy; you can easily and discreetly jot down your thoughts wherever you are. The other awesome thing about this app is that you can add tags to each entry so you can easily review your past. Currently I have tags for: Sam (marriage), Anxiety, Future, Projects, Food, Friends, Health, Job, Quotes, Books and Movies. Whenever something pops up I quickly jot it down in this app for later review.

2. Paper Journal: I have used multiple journals throughout my life but over the last few years I have fallen in love with Moleskin notebooks. They come in so many different colors! This is where my real journaling comes in. I have my Day One app open as I write to remind me of what has been going on in my life. And I write. About my life, about my fears, about the stress in my life, about the things I am grateful for. This is where I really dig into my life and thoughts. I am about to start a new journal and I think I am going to color code my entries. Something along the lines of: black ink for regular days, pink ink for really happy memories, blue ink for quotes, purple ink for lists, etc. That way I can easily review my journals without any crazy system.

3. Scrapbooks and Notes: I have also been using the Project Life scrapbooking system over the past few years. Each month I print out my favorite pictures from the month and then spend an hour or two with my scrapbook, journals, planners, etc. and scrapbook my absolutely favorite moments! The awesome part of this is that if you use Project Life note cards for your to-do list you can easily add your daily schedule from special days into your scrapbook!

Quick Review: 

1. Goals: Figure out a system of setting goals that works for your life and actually helps you! Don't choose a system that causes you more stress or overwhelms you. 
2. Plan: Find a planner that suits your life style. This may be a paper planner or the calendar on your phone. Whatever you choose, use it to keep track of the things you need to do and make time for the goals and activities you want to do. 
3. Digital Journal: Use this to keep track of the day-to-day moments that you want to remember, advice you've been given, books you want to read, or anything else! You can do this quietly and discreetly wherever you are. You can also tag entries for easy review.
4. Paper Journal: Keep your journal in a safe place and write in it when you feel most comfortable. Use this journal to really dig into your life and your feelings. Analyze what is going on in your life, the progress you are making on your goals and all the best (and worst) moments in your life. 
5. Scrapbooks: For me this is lowest on the totem pole, but equally important. This is the part of your system that will most likely be seen by other people; your family, your children, your great-grand children. Make it special but keep it simple!

I hope this helps someone else out there trying to figure out the best way to balance all the crazy thoughts bouncing around in their heads. One of the main reasons I wrote this post was to really sort out a system for myself and make it easier to follow! 

Project Life

I'm attempting to get my Project Life stuff organized. I bought this art bin off of Amazon for about $20 and the journaling cards fit perfectly in the slots. The first slot houses my new honey edition, the second has the cobalt edition and the third has colored card stock and scrapbook pages that I've punched out. The slots are long enough to hold all the journaling cards from a set so you could fit four entire sets in here!

The last slot has the larger title cards. I don't use those very often so the slot is overcrowded. I think I am going to buy a second container to hold larger cards, journaling pens, stickers, and the random colored cards. Then this container can be completely dedicated to my nice sets of journaling cards :)

January Book Review

One of my biggest New Year's Resolutions is to read more! Between full time class, full time work and my internship I literally had no down time for any fun books, or "brain-candy" as my mom likes to call them! I got off to a good start in January with five books and I'm down two more this month!

Click the book title to go to the Amazon page for each book.

The Never List
This book is pretty grim; it follows a woman seeking the truth about the man who abducted her, her mission to ensure he stays in jail and her journey to find peace after the death of her best friend. It was a fast-paced read and you can probably guess the end about halfway through but there were a few fun twists.

A Year of Biblical Womanhood

This was an unusual choice for me. I am a very spiritual person but have never identified with any particular religion. When my cousin suggested this I was reluctant to get a copy, worried that it would be a couple hundred pages of someone pushing their beliefs on me. However, I turned out to be very happily wrong! This book is funny! It's the perfect balance between the history of Judaism and Christianity, modern day religion, current events and problems and the authors own journey to find herself and her faith.

The Husband's Secret
This is the first book that I read this year and I could not put it down! There really isn't a lot I can say without giving something away but I loved every second of it. I love the concept that everything happens for a reason. That all of our choices have consequences; both good and bad. 

The Memory of Running

This one took me awhile to get into. At first the main character annoyed me but I soon feel in love with him and the eclectic cast of characters he meets throughout his quest. It's the story of a man riding cross country on a bike after learning about he deaths of his parents and sister. Although we may not all have been through that particular trauma, I think most people can relate to his journey to find himself and come to terms with his life.  

The Snow Garden

Last up but not least, this was another dark and twisty book. I didn't see the end of this one coming though so I gets some brownie points! It's all about three college students who stumble into a murder case and fall into a world of, for all lack of a better term, sexual deviance. The characters are all broken and vulnerable but I didn't connect with them the same way I did with characters in the other books. 

Stay tuned for my February book review. Hopefully I'll get better at summing them up :)

  

Arc Planner

Hello all! I am a bit of a freak about organization and have been obsessing for months over finding the right planner. For the past couple months I have been using Erin Condren's Life Planner. It is an amazing pre-bound planner...so colorful and fun. I always get bored with planners though. I see cool printables on-line or new organizing templets that I want to try but with a pre-bound planner I can't adjust, add-on or play around!

So what is a girl to do? I have tried using a 3-ring binder as a planner but it is too bulky. Then a couple days ago I stumbled upon the Arc system by Staples and fell in love. I haven't had much time to really use it so far but I am loving it. Here is a sneak peak:

I bought the red binder cover because it came with weekly/monthly pages inside already and I knew it may take me awhile to find a calendar I like better.

Here is the inside cover. I have color coding stickers on the inside pocket and bigger sticky notes for various planning endeavors! On the right is a 4x6 printout of a quote from "We Bought A Zoo". If you haven't seen that movie go watch it!

Before the monthly calendar I have by monthly tending list (seriously, check out powersheets by Lara Casey, they're amazing) folded in half so that it fits and is easy to review.

Next up is the monthly view where I keep track of big events, birthdays, work schedule, etc. 

In the weekly view I outline my workout schedule, work schedule, goals that need to be accomplished, etc. 

The next tab "shopping" holds my menu for the week. I made a sticky note grid so that I can easily move dinners around if my schedule changes. The grid paper I used though is kind of flimsy so I'll probably end up using the graph paper to get everything lined up and even and then trace it onto thicker paper. This tab also houses my gift shopping list! That way I can keep track of ideas as I find them. 

I have an "Information" tab that holds my boy's school schedule and a password keepr

In the "Memories" section I have a small chart I made to keep track of things that happen so that I can journal about them later (both in my personal journal and scrapbooks). 

Lastly I have a "Home" section with my cleaning checklist and projects that need to be completed. 

Lastly, I keep some extra little notes and papers in here. 

It is still pretty basic. I definitely want to find prettier and nicer charts to use but we'll get there!